Just For A Second

Stop and Think

Today I decided that I was going to stop and think, just for a second, about what was important to me in life. Not just the necessities like food and shelter, but the things I was passionate about. The things that really made me happy. The dreams, big or small, that I have never pursued. As I pondered this, I realized the biggest reason I had never attempted to achieve any of these dreams was because of (you guessed it!) fear of failure.

Why is it That We're So Afraid?

Everyone knows that the rates of general anxiety have increased exponentially in the last decade. But why? Some blame social media, some say it's our ever-shortening attention spans, and some say it's simply that the world has gotten scarier in general. As more and more opportunities and expectations develop it creates even more opportunities to fail. That's scary!

I believe that we're all stuck in a cycle of fear based on not just failure, but also fear about the speed at which we succeed. Everything is so fast-paced. There are always so many outside expectations of what we should be doing with our time. Some will tell you to spend your time cleaning your house, some say to read every self-help book you can get your hands on, and others say to work like a dog until you're 65. And they all say if you don't do what they do, you're guaranteed to fail. The expectation I've struggled with most recently has been the expectation to get a college Bachelor's degree. And not just that, but to do it in 4 years. Now, I'm not telling you to never listen to these people. Many of them have personal experiences to back up their advice that they claimed changed their life. All I'm suggesting is that you think, just for a second, about what is important to you. Just you.

Imagine having zero expectations from anyone. Not from society, your parents, your friends, your professors or teachers, your kids, your boss, no one. Now, before you panic, just consider for a moment what you would do. How would you want to spend your time? What hobbies would you consider picking up? What businesses would you start? Who would you call and get lunch with? Write down a list of these things. Include everything you can think of that brings you joy or fulfills one of the many dreams you've tucked away for a rainy day.

Baby Steps

Now, once you've soaked in that pure bliss for a bit, ask yourself; what is one of these things, just one, that I can try and include into my daily routines? If it's a one-time thing, great! Set a date for it in your calendar right now. If it's a larger-scale dream, break it down into small steps. What step can you take today (or tomorrow) to work towards that dream?

Something I have learned from my own experiences (and many chats with my wonderful therapist) is that breaking things that seem overwhelming into small steps will help you feel much more able to achieve them. It takes away so much of the fear. And if you fail? Oh well, you only took a baby step. You can try again. You didn't fall off the cliff, you just stumbled a little. Learning this has made me so much less afraid of failure, and stopped me from shutting down completely after I do inevitably fail at something.

In the End

I hope this process helped you. I hope you were able to remember some of those small seemingly insignificant dreams you had as a child. And I hope you feel even a tiny bit more motivated to add in baby steps toward those dreams into your routine. Because I know it will make you feel fulfilled. I know it will bring you joy. And hey, I'm doing it too by starting this blog, so why not do it together?