The Perfect Frame

What is a thought?

Thoughts are fascinating things. They create our entire world, forming a sort of mind map of our environment and the feelings we associate with that environment. According to Psychology Today, a thought is "a representation of something...a thing that depicts another thing by having characteristics that correspond to that other thing. For example, a picture, image, imprint, or mold of an object is a representation of that object."

Boiled in Oil

So if our thoughts are simply representations or "pictures" of our world, then imagine how that world would look if every picture your brain takes of the world was tainted with a deep sense of fear. For me, this is how anxiety feels at times. Everything around me feels dangerous like it could hurt me or go terribly wrong at any second. For example, let's say I'm cooking some bacon for breakfast, and it spits a tiny bit of oil onto my hand. My brain takes a "picture" of this event and turns it into the worst-case scenario. Suddenly I can picture my hand boiling in oil, all of the skin falling off and bone falling apart, and me being left with no right hand. Then comes the thought loops. I begin thinking of the consequences of such a thing happening. I would need a prosthetic hand. That would probably cost a lot of money, and even if we could afford it it would likely be extremely frustrating and maybe even painful to learn how to use. That would mean I would have to relearn how to brush my teeth, play my ukulele, and cook food. Speaking of cooking food, there are 4 pieces of boiling hot bacon spitting oil in front of me. What if instead of that oil burning off my hand, it started a fire and burned down the house?

And so the cycle begins again, this time taking a different route to imagine all the other worst-case scenarios and consequences in a different anxious category. Now, this is just one of my experiences with anxiety and thought loops. Anxiety comes in lots of different forms to lots of different people. That's why, if you're reading this I want you to consider sending in a story of your own. Share how anxiety manifests to you and how you would describe it to a total stranger. Let's see who else can relate to how you experience anxiety.

Reframe it

Anyway, back to thoughts. A strategy I learned from my fantastic therapist, was a concept called "reframing your thoughts." This just means changing the context of the "picture" your brain took. For example, let's say I auditioned for a show and didn't get in. My brain takes a mental image of that rejection email. Once the image is taken, the anxiety side of my brain starts "framing" that thought with negative reasons why I didn't get in. It starts saying things like "Oh, it's because you're not good enough. You're actually a terrible singer. Everyone who has ever told you otherwise is lying. And that dance audition? Please, you haven't done dance since Junior High, you completely bombed it in front of those directors. They were never going to consider you after that."

Here's where the "reframing" comes in. Press the pause button on the anxiety side of your brain. Go through those negative thoughts it was just telling you and really look at each one of them. Instead of "framing" that image with a negative thought, try adjusting those negative thoughts to create a more neutral, or even positive frame. Let's say I take the thought "Oh, it's because you're not good enough." If I really think about this thought, instead of just accepting it as truth, I can come up with some reasons to soften it a bit. Maybe instead I say, "Actually, I was good enough to make it to callbacks. That's a win! And I don't actually know if I wasn't good enough. All I know is they didn't select me for the role. That could be for lots of reasons. Maybe I was good enough, but there were too many other women at my same level who had the advantage of already working with the directors before."

Try it out

Choosing to really objectively look at each negative thought and "reframe" it with a more positive outlook has done wonders for my anxiety and seemingly never-ending negative thought loops. So next time you find yourself stuck in that cycle of negativity hit the pause button. Look at each of those thoughts and think, "How can I put a more positive frame on this picture?"

I hope this helps! If you have any comments or stories to share yourself, please feel free to shoot me an email!

Sources: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/finding-purpose/201902/what-actually-is-a-thought-and-how-is-information-physical